When Raising a Teen Feels Overwhelming: How One Sentence Shifted My Entire Prayer Life as a Mom
For those who know me — or those who have followed my past blogs — you already know I am a mother of three. I have raised two boys who are now young adults, and right now, I’m in the thick of raising a teenage daughter. And let me tell you… this season has been different. I have learned a lot, and I am still learning a lot. And I won’t lie — it has been overwhelming at times. Raising a teenage girl has stretched me, challenged me, and humbled me in ways I didn’t see coming.
Recently, I picked up a book by Stacey Thacker called Praying for Teen Girls. Let me say ahead of time — this blog is not a promotion. I’m not being paid to mention this book. But if you’re anything like me, when you’re deep in the “Lord, what is THIS? What do I even do?” season, you’re grabbing every resource you can get your hands on. I’ve only made it through the first 30 pages, and I’ve already felt so blessed and deeply convicted.
But what I really want to talk about today is one sentence in the book that completely changed the way I pray as a mother. When I read it, I literally had to stop, close the book, and say, “Okay Lord… I hear You.”
Stacey writes:
“But what I have learned about prayer over the years is that God is more concerned with the state of our relationship with Him than with our requests.”
Whew. Let me say that again for the moms in the back…
God cares more about our relationship with Him than the list we bring to Him.
That one sentence shifted everything for me.
When You’re Raising a Teen, the Requests Get Loud
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If you’re raising a teenager, especially a teenage girl, you know how overwhelming it can feel. One minute they’re laughing, the next they’re crying, and the next… they don’t want to be bothered at all. Like, what the what?! You’re thinking:
Why is she acting like this?
Lord, what is happening?
Did I miss something?
I thought I had this parenting thing down!
And that’s the part that humbled me: I thought I had it all together. I mean, I raised two teenage boys. Did that not prepare me? (Some of you might be laughing at me right now, and that’s ok. LOL! I laugh at myself sometimes.)
But a teenage daughter will show you real quick that you’re still learning — and that you need God in ways you didn’t realize before. At least that’s my story.
When we’re overwhelmed, our prayers often sound like:
“God, please fix this.”
“Lord, change her attitude.”
“God, help me not to lose it today.”
Those requests are real and valid. But if we’re honest… sometimes we’re running to God like He’s a quick-answer hotline.
We want Him to hurry and respond.
We want Him to fix the thing causing stress.
We want Him to solve the problem so we can breathe again.
But what if — before He answers — He wants to deal with something in us?
Before God Fixes It, He Often Forms Us
Here’s what hit me: God is not only invested in my daughter’s heart — He is invested in mine. He is not only shaping her — He is shaping me.
And when I read that sentence, it was like God gently whispered:
“Daughter, before I answer your requests, let Me deal with your heart. Let Me strengthen your patience. Let Me deepen your compassion. Let Me grow your capacity to love like Christ. Let Me teach you to see her — not through fear, frustration, or worry — but through My eyes.”
It broke me in the best way.
Because as Christian moms, wives, and women who are carrying so much, we often forget that God isn’t simply trying to make us “better moms.” He’s trying to:
draw us closer to Him
teach us how to model Christ in our home
help us love our children the way He loves them
mature us in our faith
transform how we respond, not just what we request
And that part right there — that transformation — is what makes motherhood holy work.
The Hard Truth: We Can’t Guide Our Teens If We’re Spiritually Drained
Working moms, Christian moms, moms balancing career, purpose, and home — we carry a lot on our shoulders. And sometimes the emotional weight of raising a teen pushes us straight into:
overwhelm
mom guilt
burnout
frustration
self-doubt
We wonder:
“Am I messing her up?”
“Am I doing this right?”
“Does she even hear anything I’m saying?”
And God is over here whispering:
“Come sit with Me. Let Me fill you again. Let Me prepare your heart before you try to shape hers.”
This aligns with everything I’ve talked about in past blogs — the power of the pause, the importance of balance and boundaries, and releasing perfectionism in motherhood. God wants us to mother from overflow, not exhaustion.
Seeing Our Teens with Christlike Eyes
When God deals with our hearts first, something beautiful happens:
We begin to see our teenagers — in all their flaws, moods, mistakes, and growth — through compassion, not criticism. We recognize that they are navigating identity, hormones, pressure, temptation, social media, friendships, purpose, and emotions all at once. And suddenly, instead of reacting out of frustration, we parent from a place of:
grace
patience
empathy
wisdom
confidence
Holy Spirit-guided discernment
This posture allows us to guide, teach, and love our teens as Christ would.
A New Way to Pray as a Mom
So now, as I prepare to go before the Lord in prayer for my daughter, my goal is not to just ask, “God fix this.”
Instead my goal is to pray:
“Lord, work in me first.
Prepare my heart.
Teach me to love well.
Help me model grace.
Help me respond like You would.
Make me the mother she needs — not the mother fear makes me become.”
Because in the end, motherhood is not just about raising our children. It is also about being raised by God.
If this blog spoke to your heart, I invite you to stay connected.
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