Balance & Boundaries: What They Really Mean for Working Moms
As a licensed professional counselor who specializes in helping working moms reclaim balance and set healthy boundaries, I’ve noticed a recurring pattern in conversations—with clients and even in my own head: when we hear the word balance, we often think equal.
We imagine this scale of perfectly portioned schedules, neatly divided time blocks, and everyone getting an equal share of our attention—kids, partner, job, church, friends, and maybe, just maybe, ourselves. But if we’re being honest, that version of balance feels like a myth. And truthfully? It sets us up for guilt and burnout.
Redefining Balance: It’s Not About Equal Time
Not long ago, I looked up the definition of balance. According to Harvard Health Publishing, balance is “the ability to distribute your weight in a way that lets you stand or move without falling—or recover if you trip.” Now that sounds more like motherhood. Trying to keep standing when you feel like you’re just about to give out; wondering if you can do this.
Balance isn’t about giving everything an equal amount of time or energy. It’s about knowing how to shift, where to lean, and when to let go. It’s being able to prioritize and stand firm with those priorities—even when life gets messy—and having the emotional and spiritual tools to recover when we stumble. Because we will stumble—And that’s ok.
This definition of balance gives us the gift of grace. It reminds us that we’re human and that staying upright doesn’t mean never falling—it means having the strength and wisdom to get back up.
Boundaries: The Grace-Filled Yes and the Guilt-Free No
When we introduce boundaries into the conversation, it becomes even more complex. Boundaries are often misunderstood. Some hear the word and think, “That sounds selfish”. Others feel overwhelmed just thinking about setting boundaries. But boundaries are biblical and necessary.
“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” (Psalm 16:6 NIV )
Of course, guilt may still creep in as we set boundaries, especially with those we love; however, imagine how pleasant, delightful, and less stressed life will be in the long run after placing appropriate boundaries.
Now, let’s look at a more practical side. The definition I lean into is this: boundaries are the limits we set that define where something—or someone—ends and where we begin. In real life, that sounds like asking:
Where does my “yes” begin?
Where does my “no” need to step in?
Where does the access I give others to my time, energy, and emotions begin and end?
For working moms, these questions aren’t just helpful—they’re essential. Boundaries allow us to protect what matters most, to steward our responsibilities wisely, and to pour into others from a place of overflow, not depletion.
When the Body Keeps Score
If we’re not careful—if we don’t pause to evaluate our balance and boundaries—our bodies will eventually do it for us. This is something I talk about often with clients in session and my blog, There’s Power in the Pause. We’ll get that persistent headache or tension in our shoulders. We’ll snap at our spouse over a dinner menu. We’ll find ourselves crying in the car for no obvious reason. These are not random. These are red flags.
When we push ourselves without boundaries, when we strive for a false sense of balance, when we say yes out of guilt and not grace—our bodies, minds, and spirits suffer. That’s why I tell my clients (and myself, regularly): It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to rest. And it’s more than okay to say no—even if you’re not “busy” but simply need a moment to breathe.
Practical Truths for Working Moms
Let’s be real. As working moms, many of us are not just managing our own needs. We’re helping with homework, leading ministries, running businesses, volunteering, handling bedtime routines, grocery shopping, and maybe—just maybe—trying to make space for a devotional and a hot cup of coffee that hasn’t been reheated five times. (I’m totally talking about me now. Like, is that even healthy to warm up coffee that many times?)
So here are some truths I want to leave you with today:
Balance means knowing what season you’re in. There will be times when your job needs more from you, and other seasons where your kids do. God gives grace for each one. Ask Him what this season needs from you.
Boundaries don’t mean shutting people out. They mean inviting people in without losing yourself in the process.
Your worth is not in your work. Whether you crushed a to-do list or took a much-needed nap—your value doesn’t change. God’s love for you isn’t performance-based.
A Personal Note from Me to You 📝
I’ve seen firsthand the difference balance and boundaries make. I’ve also felt the burnout of saying “yes” to everyone but myself. That’s why I’ve made it part of my mission—not only as a counselor but as a woman of faith—to help other working moms learn how to walk in both purpose and peace. It’s not easy. But with the right support, it’s absolutely possible.
So if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stretched too thin, or unsure how to set healthy boundaries that align with your faith, you’re not alone. I’m here to help.
If you're ready to take a deeper step toward creating balance and boundaries in your life,
I’d love to walk with you!
Let’s reclaim peace, one pause and one boundary at a time.
