One Play at a Time: What Nick Saban Taught Me About Mindful Motherhood
Now, I don't know about you, but sometimes I find the greatest life lessons in the most unexpected places. Recently, I was watching a documentary about Nick Saban, who is considered one of the greatest college football coaches of all time. Now, I'm not necessarily writing this blog to talk about football, but something about his coaching philosophy really caught my attention.
Throughout the documentary, they discussed his passion, structure, discipline, and dedication to the game. His coaching style could be intense, and some may have even found it offensive at times. However, beneath that intensity was a man who was deeply committed to excellence, the sport he loved, and the development of his players.
But there was one lesson that stood out to me more than anything else.
Saban described learning from a sports psychology professional the importance of focusing on the process rather than becoming consumed with the outcome. Instead of constantly thinking about winning the game or becoming a national champion, players were encouraged to focus on executing the next play.
And here's what really got me. Each football play only lasts about six seconds! Six seconds!
All that preparation, practice, discipline, and hard work, yet when it's time to execute, the focus is on those few seconds right in front of them. Immediately, I began thinking about how this connects to mindfulness and motherhood.
Because, Mama, how often are we so focused on winning the whole game that we forget to focus on the play we're in right now? As a therapist who works with working moms in Texas, I often help women recognize how anxiety, perfectionism, and the mental load of motherhood can interfere with their ability to be present and enjoy their lives.
And sometimes the solution isn't figuring out the entire game plan. Sometimes it's simply focusing on the next play.
How Mom Burnout Starts With Living in the Future
So many of us as working moms live mentally in the future.
We’re thinking about everything we have to do later today, this week, this month. We’re thinking about our children’s futures, their grades, their character, their faith, and whether we’re raising them the right way. We’re thinking about our careers, our finances, and the goals we set for ourselves.
All of that matters. But when we stay there too long, it becomes overwhelming.
The mental load grows so heavy that we become paralyzed. We stare at the mountain and can’t take a single step up it. We freeze, procrastinate, or shut down, then feel guilty for doing nothing at all. It’s really counterproductive, right?
That’s often how burnout starts. Not always from doing too much, but from carrying the weight of everything at once.
When Focusing on the Finish Line Creates Anxiety
I believe in having vision, walking in our God-given purpose, and being intentional about the things we want to accomplish. But there's a difference between having a vision and becoming consumed by the outcome. Think about it.
If a football player spends the entire game worrying about whether the team will win the national championship, how much attention is he giving to the play happening right in front of him? Probably not enough. And the same thing can happen in motherhood.
If the child doesn’t turn out the way we pictured, we feel like failures.
If the season doesn’t go as planned, we feel defeated.
If we don’t reach the milestone, we assume we didn’t do enough.
When we attach our worth to the big goal, we set ourselves up for disappointment. And in that disappointment, we often miss the growth that happened along the way. We overlook the hard conversations we handled with patience, the prayers we whispered in the car, and the mornings we showed up even when we were exhausted.
Your identity isn’t defined by your productivity or your outcomes. Motherhood isn’t a scoreboard. Sometimes growth is found in how we show up along the way.
What Mindfulness Really Means for Working Moms
Mindfulness simply means being present in the moment you’re actually in. It’s the practice of intentionally bringing our attention to the present moment without immediately judging what we're experiencing. In simpler terms, it's learning to be where you are while you're there.
Sounds easy, right? Well, not always. Especially when you're a working mom who's used to multitasking, planning, solving problems, and making sure everyone has what they need. But listen, mindfulness doesn't mean you stop planning for the future or neglect your responsibilities. It means learning how to recognize when your mind has moved so far ahead that you're no longer fully engaged in what's happening right now.
For a mom, mindfulness may look like:
Focusing on this morning’s routine instead of the entire school year.
Giving your full attention to this conversation with your child instead of mentally running through tomorrow’s to-do list.
Taking this one task at hand instead of trying to solve the whole week.
Resting in this moment instead of waiting until everything is finished.
Your nervous system was never designed to carry the weight of the entire future at once. When you stay in the present, your body gets a chance to settle, and your mind gets room to think clearly.
The Psychology Behind Taking One Play at a Time
Focusing on one task or moment at a time can help reduce the cognitive overload that contributes to stress and anxiety. Our brains have limited working memory capacity. When we try to mentally juggle too many responsibilities at once, it becomes more difficult to concentrate, make decisions, and regulate our emotional responses. This is especially important for high-capacity working moms who are accustomed to performing at high levels in multiple areas of life.
Sometimes we confuse our ability to do something with our capacity to do it all at once. But just because you're capable of handling multiple responsibilities doesn't mean you have the mental or emotional capacity to carry them all simultaneously. Mindfulness helps us recognize that distinction.
Instead of asking ourselves how we're going to accomplish everything, we can begin asking, What is the most important thing I need to focus on right now? That simple shift can make an overwhelming responsibility feel more manageable. As we complete one small task, engage in one meaningful conversation, or take one intentional step, we begin building confidence in our ability to move forward.
We're no longer waiting until we reach the finish line to experience progress. We're recognizing progress in each play.
What Does the Bible Say About Being Present?
One thing I love about integrating faith and therapy is recognizing how biblical principles can complement what we learn through psychology. The idea of being present and mindful isn’t a new idea. Jesus taught it long before any sports psychologist did.
In Matthew 6:34, He tells us not to worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. And in Lamentations 3, we’re reminded that God’s mercies are new every morning. New every morning. Not stockpiled for next month, but fresh for today.
God isn’t asking you to win the championship this week. He’s asking you to be faithful with the play in front of you, and He promises to give you grace for it now, and trust that He will give you what you need for tomorrow.
Remember Mama, You Don't Have to Win the Whole Game Today
If we focus on each day and each moment of this motherhood journey, then regardless of whether the future turns out exactly as we hoped, we can know we did our best along the way. That’s a different kind of success. It isn’t dependent on perfect outcomes or on controlling everything. It’s rooted in faithfulness, presence, and grace.
You will have plays that don’t go well. You’ll lose your patience, forget the permission slip, or have a day that feels like a total fumble. That’s okay. The beauty of a six-second play is that the next one is right around the corner. You get to reset, breathe, pray, and go again.
Here’s some practical tips for doing so:
1. Focus on the next play, not the entire game.
When you begin feeling overwhelmed by everything on your to-do list, pause and identify the next meaningful step. You don't have to accomplish everything at once. Complete what you can, then move to the next task.
2. Practice being present during ordinary moments.
Whether you're eating dinner, helping your child with homework, driving to work, or spending time with your spouse, practice bringing your attention back to the moment. When your mind wanders, gently redirect it without criticizing yourself.
3. Celebrate the small victories.
Don't wait until your children graduate, you receive the promotion, or you reach your financial goals to recognize your progress. Celebrate the healthy conversation you had with your teenager, the boundary you successfully maintained, or the moment you chose rest instead of overextending yourself.
4. Release the pressure to control every outcome.
You can prepare your children, teach them biblical principles, provide guidance, and model healthy behaviors. But you cannot control every decision they'll make or every experience they'll encounter. Focus on being intentional with what you can influence today.
5. Invite God into the moment you're in.
Sometimes mindfulness can be as simple as pausing to pray, taking a few slow breaths, or reminding yourself that God is present with you right now. You don't have to wait until everything settles down to experience His peace.
Your Next Play
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or stuck because the future feels too heavy to carry, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Therapy can help you learn mindfulness tools, calm your nervous system, and release the pressure you’ve been carrying.
Reach out today to schedule a consultation, and let’s work on getting you out of survival mode and back to experiencing peace in the present.
