Growth Isn’t the Absence of Struggle—It’s How You Respond to It
One of the things I often remind my clients—especially the working moms I serve—is that growth doesn’t mean you’ll never feel overwhelmed again. It doesn’t mean you’ll never feel angry, discouraged, or disappointed. And it certainly doesn’t mean you have to handle everything with a smile and scripture ready on cue.
Let’s be honest. As moms, we hold ourselves to incredibly high expectations. Many of us have internalized the idea that if we’ve done “the work” on ourselves, we should be above certain emotions or reactions. So when those feelings show up—guilt, frustration, resentment, or even rage—we immediately assume we’ve failed. We backslide into shame and start questioning if we’ve made any progress at all.
But can I offer a new lens?
Feeling emotions doesn’t mean you’ve failed. What matters is how you respond to them.
Real Growth Happens in the Response
So often in therapy, a mom will come into session and share a hard situation from her week. Maybe she had an argument with her partner or got frustrated with her teen. Maybe her boss dumped another project on her lap, and she found herself spiraling into overwhelm again.
And she’ll say something like:
“I was so angry. I thought I was past this.”
“I thought I was doing better, but I still feel anxious all the time.”
But as we unpack the moment, I start to notice something powerful. While the emotion felt just as intense as before, her response to it was different this time.
Maybe she paused instead of reacting in anger.
Maybe she took a breath and walked away instead of snapping.
Maybe she gave herself permission to cry, journal, or pray rather than stuffing the emotion down and pushing through.
That, my friend, is growth.
Growth Is Not the Absence of Emotion
Here’s what I want every mom I work with to understand: Growth is not the absence of emotion—it’s the presence of a new response.
Strong emotions don’t make you weak. They make you human.
And in therapy, we work together to become more mindful of those emotions rather than shaming ourselves for having them. You don’t have to fake peace or pretend you're not frustrated. You just need to slow down enough to recognize what you're feeling, name it, accept it, and respond with intention.
The Power Lies Inside the Pause
This ties in directly with what I talked about in a previous blog, “There’s Power in the Pause.” When you learn to pause before reacting, you give yourself space to regulate. That pause allows your nervous system to reset and your mindset to shift—so you’re not reacting from old patterns or survival mode.
It’s in that pause that we find growth. It’s in that pause that freedom begins to take root.
In sessions, I often walk clients through simple but effective tools:
Deep breathing to calm the body.
Grounding exercises to stay present.
Self-talk rooted in truth and grace.
Boundaries to protect peace.
Tapping to reduce stress.
And when clients return and tell me they used one of those tools—even if the situation didn’t change—I make sure they see their growth.
Why? Because the outside circumstances may still be messy. The people around you may still be frustrating. But you are different. You’re learning to respond instead of react. You’re showing up for yourself in ways you never used to. And that counts. You can only control what you can control.
You Are Not Responsible for the Outcome—Just Your Response
Another key shift I help clients make is learning what they are and are not responsible for.
You are not responsible for how others respond.
You are not responsible for fixing everything.
You are not responsible for making everyone else comfortable.
But you are responsible for how you choose to show up.
You can’t control outcomes—but you can control your voice, your values, and your responses. That’s where your power lies.
Give Yourself Credit for Quiet Wins
Sometimes, we don’t recognize our growth because we’re still in the thick of the struggle. But growth isn’t always loud or obvious. Sometimes, it looks like:
Saying no when you used to always say yes.
Letting your child cry without spiraling into guilt.
Speaking up at work without second-guessing yourself.
Walking away from drama instead of getting pulled in.
These are quiet wins—and they matter.
Therapy Can Help You See What You’ve Overlooked
When you’re walking through life juggling kids, work, faith, and your own healing, it can be hard to recognize your own growth. That’s why therapy is such a powerful space—it gives you time to slow down, reflect, and notice.
Sometimes, all you need is someone to hold up the mirror and say, “Look at how far you’ve come.”
And I’d be honored to do that with you.
You’re Not Failing—You’re Growing
If you’ve ever left a tough moment feeling like you’ve failed just because it stirred up strong emotions, I want you to take a breath and remember: Growth is happening in you.
It’s not about having it all figured out. It’s about learning to respond with grace, truth, and intentionality.
God is not measuring your success by your ability to avoid hard feelings—He’s walking with you through them. And He’s developing strength, wisdom, and maturity in the process.
So take heart, Mama. You're not broken—you’re being built.
Need a safe space to process your growth journey?
Let’s talk. Therapy is a space where you can release unrealistic expectations and cultivate a life with intention, grace, and confidence.
💛 Greatness Awaits—within you and ahead of you.
